The Grinch Who Stole Halloween

Halloween has never really been my thing.  I think it dates back to when I was a kid.  It wasn’t my parents’ thing either.  Halloween isn’t exactly a Polish custom.  Or maybe it was because my parents had five kids and the idea of getting costumes together for five kids was a giant pain in the ass that my parents simply didn’t have time for, so they just opted out.  The neighborhood where I grew up didn’t have many kids in it.  It was kind of a busy street, not like a cul-de-sac or anything like that, so nobody trick or treated on good ol Scantic Road.  So, I wasn’t exactly sitting at the front picture window watching other kids in costumes go door to door while I wasn’t allowed.  Halloween just wasn’t on the radar screen.

It wasn’t that my parents were too busy to be bothered with Halloween and trick or treating.  I don’t think they really got the point of it.  Honestly, I don’t either.  But when I was a kid and I mentioned that I wanted to try trick or treating, my mom was perplexed. 

“So, you want to go door to door begging for food?”

“No, Mom, it’s for fun.  You get candy, not food.”

“You want candy, I’ll buy you candy,” she shrugged. 

And then for not the last time I stomped my feet and said “Uggggh!  You just don’t get it!” 

So, Halloween often went by me like any other day.  Until I was 12 and my friends were shocked that I’d never been.  So they took me trick or treating.  For the first time.  When I was in seventh grade—at the age when most kids are too old to go and stop going.  I remember walking up the 1/2 mile long driveway of the family who owned the local chain of supermarkets (where I'd work at the bakery when I turned 15).  We were sure that we'd score, as they owned a supermarket and we didn't see many kids making the long-ass trek up their driveway.  We got all the way there and got one miniature snickers bar.  And then we got a tour of their mansion.  Which was weird.  Let's just invite a bunch of pre-teen girls into a huge house on Halloween.  But what did I know?  It was my first time.

Then I met Todd, who loves Halloween.  He dragged me to costume parties as we were dating.  We spent Halloween night in Salem, Massachusetts one year, which is Halloween central as it has a reputation of being one of the spookiest places on the east coast due to the Salem Witch Trials.  I dressed as a street.  I wore black, made street signs and pinned them all over my body and pinned matchbox cars to myself.  He went as a tube of toothpaste.  He didn’t anticipate how many strangers would come up and squeeze him.  He also didn’t anticipate the woman dressed in sexy bondage whipping him and declaring her love for dental hygiene. 

I haven’t ever dressed for Halloween in any of my workplaces.  And now that I have been working from home for the last five years I have no reason to either.  Who’s going to see it?  But the thing that is great about working from home is that I can work from anywhere.  So on Halloween I work from Todd’s office.  At his office he offers an incentive to the employees for 100% participation in Halloween.  And the people he works with rise to and beyond the challenge.  Click on these, I promise it's worth it.

This was 2015:

And then we have 2014:

Here’s my costume this year.  Everyone calls me a smart ass, why not be one?

BJ Knapp the Author Dresses for Halloween

Last year I threw this one together.

BJ Knapp the Author Dresses for Halloween

But I think this was my favorite one.  Super cheap.

BJ Knapp the Author Dresses as Kevin Bacon

BJ Knapp is the author of Beside the Music, available for purchase here. Please sign up for the Backstage with BJ Knapp mailing list to get updates on events, signings, dog pictures and so much more.

added on 10.31.16

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