Things I Hope Will Never Change

Last night I had an appointment for a facial at Massage Envy.  (Side note, Dianne at the East Greenwich, RI location is an AMAZING esthetician.  My skin looks and feels so smooth!)  When I finished with my appointment, I went out to the front desk to settle up.  I noticed a bouquet of flowers on the back counter but didn’t think much of it. 

I didn’t think much of them until the woman behind the counter said, “And these are for you.  Your husband dropped them off.  He would have left them in your car, but the top was up.”  She handed me the flowers, I thrust my nose into them and inhaled deeply. 

Todd is the king of random acts of kindness and beauty.  When we first started going out he used to visit me at my workplace, a software company in Burlington, MA.  When he visited he brought me flowers and treats for my co-workers: bagels, donuts, etc.  I don’t work in an office anymore, so sometimes he’ll have some random treat sent to me.  Or he’ll bring something home to me. 

But last night’s flowers reminded me of the time when he brought me flowers and donuts to my workplace.  It was 2002.  I was working at a small PR firm owned by a husband/wife team.  He brought me flowers, and brought them donuts.

“So, what’s the occasion?” Mrs. Company Owner asked.  “Is it your birthday?”

“Nope.  Tuesdays have always been huge for us,” I joked.

“An anniversary?”

“No.  Seriously.  There’s no occasion.  It’s just because.”

“Really?” she raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yup,” I beamed back at her, and arranged them in a vase that she pulled out from the cabinet near the fridge in the kitchenette.

“Well, that’ll change,” she snorted and stomped off.

“Maybe for you it did,” I called after her.  It’s worth noting that I only worked there for about three months and was laid off.  I am sure that comment didn’t help.

Here it is, almost fourteen years later to the date.  And he still brings me random flowers.  He still cuts up cucumbers and makes infused water for me.  He still brings me a coveted Allie’s Donut (a Rhode Island treasure.  Dunkin’ and Krispy Kreme can suck it.  Allie’s rules!)  I wish I could track down that lady and tell her this:

We’ve been together for nineteen years.

We’ve been married for thirteen of those years.

We have bought two houses, lived in two apartments together.

We have had three dogs.

We have restored three sailboats.

I have supported him through his successes and his failures at running his business.

He has supported me through writing and publishing a novel, training for and running a marathon, and whatever other hare-brained scheme I come up with.

We have stood in the rain.

We have shoveled snow.

We have basked in the sun.

We have scooped up dog shit.

We have held hands underwater.

We have held each other when we’re sick, or we’re scared, or we’ve had a nightmare.

We have laughed.

We have cried.

We have mostly laughed.

And after all that, he still brings me flowers on a random Thursday for no other reason than he wanted to make me smile. 

And that has not changed.  And I hope I will never snivel at some young couple.  Instead I will say “I hope your happiness and thoughtfulness for each other will never change.”

Husband brought wife flowers

BJ Knapp is the author of Beside the Music, available for purchase here. Please sign up for the Backstage with BJ Knapp mailing list to get updates on events, signings, dog pictures and so much more.

added on 07.08.16

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